Mean Girl?

I was at a small lunch gathering on Thursday, and one of the girls there used to be one of my closest friends.  I had not seen her since August and we have barely spoken since then also.  I used to care that we didn’t talk much or we don’t see each other much, but as time went on, and I became busy in my life, she became part of my past.

For me, if I lose a friend, over a fight, or they just decided to leave, its hard for me to let them back into my life.  Its not about “forgiving and forgetting”, it is just hard for me to accept what they did and act normal again, because I know that if they did it once, they will do it again and again, so why should I even bother. 

Anyways, we had finished lunch and we were sitting around, when the girl said to me ” You don’t miss me”, so I said “I’m a very busy person”, and she replied “That has nothing to do with it, so I said “What? I am busy, what do you want me to say?” she was silent for a while then she said “That was the meanest thing you ever said to me”.

She stayed a little bit longer, then she had to leave, and after she left my friend nia looked at me and told me that what I had said was mean, and that I should have not said that.  Why not?  Ya3ni at least I didn’t say “I don’t miss you” right?  I am justifiying my actions by stating that I am a busy person.  Her excuse for not seeing me since August (and it was told to a mutual friend) that she was busy. 

I’m not being “if shes busy then I’m busy too”, I really am busy.  I work full time, I don’t get home until 4 or so on a daily work day basis.  Then I have family to see, both my mothers side and my fathers side, then I also have my friends, and I also have to see my mothers friends.  Those four things stay constant in my life, then come the social obligations that pop up randomly, such as weddings, istiqbalat, etc. 

I care about my friends and I love them a lot, but if they are not willing to put an effort in the friendship then seriously to hell with it.  I am not going to run after them all the time.  I have people in my life that I love to death but I don’t see them everyday, but I know that when I call them or make plans with them, they will keep the plans, and they will also call me and make plans with me. 

So if a person decides that they are too busy for me, but has time to see their other friends, why should I miss them?  Why should I even care?  I don’t think I was mean to her at all, althought what I said might have been a little rash, she should be able to handle it.


12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Tooomz
    Jan 13, 2008 @ 10:11:25

    But I looooooooooooooooooove youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!


    I can’ t believe you don’t miss me!


  2. Chirp
    Jan 13, 2008 @ 10:16:01

    Toooomz – “Helloooooooooooooooooo, is it me your looking for?” I love you tooooooooo! I do miss you!!!


  3. Tooomz
    Jan 13, 2008 @ 10:41:01

    Lies! All lies!!!

    Hehe. Your post reminded me of my 2005er.


  4. Rashisha
    Jan 13, 2008 @ 10:45:17

    i sooooooo get where u r coming from I’m going through the same thing with someone right now… Wallah if they dont care then why should we?


  5. Chirp
    Jan 13, 2008 @ 12:08:17

    Tooomz – No lies !!!

    Rashisha – Seriously!!! kaifhuM!


  6. Enigma
    Jan 13, 2008 @ 14:14:04

    It wasn’t mean at all. Blunt, yes. The problem with people here is that they can’t handle honesty, bas yaboon el nas etjamelhum and I never do that. If a friend doesn’t put an effort, then kaifha. Unless there is effort from both sides, I’m not going to go after her.


  7. greyshorts
    Jan 13, 2008 @ 14:20:15

    Yes i second enigma . People here just want ‘7abeebty’ ‘7yaaatey’ ‘mshtagtlech’ ‘ waaaay a7bech’ and other fake sugar coated words .


  8. Talal
    Jan 13, 2008 @ 14:40:19

    Are you talking about who I think you’re talking about?

    Anyway, I think what you said WAS kinda mean–or at least could’ve been put in a nicer way. Because, at the end of the day, aren’t you kinda doing what she’s doing? You chastise her for having time to see other friends but being too busy to see you, but you yourself said “then I also have my friends, and I also have to see my mothers friends”…Ya3ni I’m not saying that you’re the only one to blame–you BOTH have to actively pursue a relationship with each other–bas ennu you’re not ENTIRELY innocent 😉

    But I do agree…If it seems more and more that you’re the only one trying to sustain the friendship, then it’s not worth your time or effort. I learned that a few years ago.


  9. Chirp
    Jan 13, 2008 @ 15:02:23

    Enigma – BLUNT!! thats the word i was looking for thanks ;P

    Greyshorts – im so not like that, ma3arif ajamil that much

    Talal – YES you are my friend, but you don’t know my side of the story, will tell u when we speak next 🙂


  10. Jacqui
    Jan 13, 2008 @ 15:50:57

    Im not too busy for you :s


  11. N.
    Jan 15, 2008 @ 13:46:52

    eh 3adi it happens, everyone has their own life, they become busy.. its nice to see a friend and get to talk with them, 6ab3an ma feha shay what you said.. some ppl are just too sensitive from that point of view, and some are just selfish.. but when it comes to friends, sometimes you just don’t mean to drift apart it just happens, so no hard feelings should be there.. madry :r I’ve been told I’m mean and cold sometimes!


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