Marriage Shmarriage

I was going to post about this topic a couple of days ago, but a) I had finals and b) I have recently become lazy.   By typing up this post I am procrastinating going out to get my cousin a birthday present and her bday is tomorrow! Anyways eshda3wa blogged about it before me, but I will still write about it :p

I am 24 turning 25 after the summer, and I am in no huge rush to get married, and the thought of it scares the bejeezus out of me.  But anyways, my mothers friends think I am getting too old and have taken it upon themselves to try to find me a “3arees” against my will.  I have a couple of traits I like in a man and a couple of traits I dont like in a man (just like any other human being).  Just like in girls (when selecting friends) there are traits that I cant tolerate, but with friendships its different because your not living with them 24/7 so you can over look some things right?  To some people I am told that I AM TOO PICKY, oo itha ga3adt 3ala hal 7ala I will never find a man.

Well why shouldn’t I be picky?  Most men are picky, while some men as their mothers to look for girls based on looks “aby wa7da samra” or “aby wa7da baytha” etc.  See the things I like in a man are not physical.  Looks are not that important to me as long as I see the man attractive (and my taste is different than that of all my friends).  But for me personality is extremly important (cliche but true).  I like a man to have a strong personality, as much fun as it is to amashy wa7id 3ala kaify, I don’t want that trait in a man.  I don’t want him to be a dictator but I do want to feel like he is the actual man of the house.  Its not like we won’t discuss major issues and come to a middle ground but you get my drift right? Another thing is ma7ib a guy to be extremely shy.  Then again everyone is different and some girls might like shy guys.  I don’t one fa9ikh il7aya completly bas I want a man, when put in a situation with my family or friends he will be able to communicate, joke around and feel comfortable.    Having the same interests is extremly important for me as well, such as sports, politics, economics and food.  Yes food is an interest and it is important to me.  And the last factor is the kuwaitiness level.  As much as I come off as a chicken nugget, I do have a kuwaiti side to me.  o0 maby wa7id totally americanized oo ma yetkalam 3arabi wayed oo ma yegra 3arabi at all.  ya3ni ma abeeh ikoon 7acher oo mokha imgafel bas ikoon tafkeera on the same level as me. Oh yes and he has to be social, he has to have his own circle of friends.

And I agree that most married couples shouldn’t have kids in the first 2 years of a marriage, not because the marriage might not work out, but because its during that time when they start to really get to know each other.  No matter how long you dated, or even during il khe6ba wil micha phase, you truly don’t know a person until you live with them.  I also think that it is important to care about/love/like the person you marry, because like every human they will have 3yoob, and if you care about them then you’ll be willing to stay quiet regarding somethings.  I also think that people should enjoy that time to travel and have fun, because once the kids come everything is different and your life will revolve around your babies.

I am not against the institution of marriage, I do want someone to settle with, to be my partner etc etc.  But just because he looks good on paper doesn’t mean hes a good candidate.

To end this post I will leave you with an article on Why Nice Guys Finish Last [Link].  I think its true.

And like so3ad 3abdulla read bil mosalsal (i think it was dars kh9oo9i .. 7adi nesait! re7t adawer il dvd bas ma legaita) “I hope you have a happy marag”

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. enigma
    May 16, 2009 @ 14:04:52

    THANK YOU.

    Next time anyone asks “what u waiting for” i’ll just direct them to this post 😀

    Reply

  2. B
    May 16, 2009 @ 15:31:49

    i agree with this post completely. what you’re looking for in a man is exactly what i’m looking for 🙂 as well as waiting 2 years after marriage before having kids. *high five*

    Reply

  3. Hasan.B
    May 16, 2009 @ 15:53:51

    The food part does not make any sense. Y3ni law wa7d khe6abech, betgolela what do you eat? O etha 6ela3 zain and has you do not have common interests in food what will that result in? I also dont agree on the two year time, why not three, why not one? I just believe that each couple are different. Saying that however, you must keep in mind that I got divorced already so what I say might not be very correct:P

    Reply

  4. Chirp
    May 16, 2009 @ 17:44:45

    enigma – haha ur welcome ;p

    B – good luck in finding the man 😉 *high five*

    Hasan – la ma ra7 agoola what do u eat, bas itha 6ala3 di3la bil akil that will be annoying. I don’t know how 2 explain bas its not a complete deal breaker ya3ni bas i’d like someone whos open to everything u know. and about the 2 year thing. for me i think that is a suitable amount of time to have fun with ur hubby without having children to take care of, if someone would like less than kaifhum, if someone would like more then its up 2 them as well. 🙂

    Reply

  5. Jacqui
    May 16, 2009 @ 17:51:40

    I agree with what you said but I also want to add one thing, which is I don’t want our life to be dictated by what others think or what the society wants, in the end its us in the same house together and not the society or the world with us. It’s not a basis to judge on who to get married to..
    i.e. she is mit7ajba ppl will say she is religious and wow that’st he perfect choice.. vs she’s not a met7ajba and ppl will keep telling him ha meta ra7 et7ajeb mortik.. ha ma 7ajabt’ha ha ha ha.. :/

    Reply

  6. Cooookiez
    May 17, 2009 @ 18:35:41

    I dont see why girls these days are rushing into marriage ? A few weeks ago I attended a wedding the bride was only 20 !! WTF ?! shwarach !!! plus i think its way too young, shes still unexperienced and has ALOT to learn !! ya3ne matshofoon the divorce rates !! wala i have a friend egool ” yalla shwarana khal atzawaj most rab3e tzawejaw” na3aaam ?!!! & yes hes very serious !! efff now im angry !!:@

    Reply

  7. Daddy's Girl
    May 18, 2009 @ 07:44:40

    Ur not old if ur 25… i know 3 women in their 50’s who just got married this year o imsaween honeymoon b3d!!!

    The question is, do u want to get married or not?

    if u don’t want to or not ready now… keefich, no one has any business trying to set u up!

    But i can tell u this, marriage can be either the lowest point of ur life or the happiest thing that ever happened to u ever… depending of course on ur husband… so u r allowed to be picky as long as ur realistically picky, not inah he has to be mr. 100% perfect y3ni until u accept… u are sharing ur whole LIFE with the man… il 3omr mosh ba3za2a!

    o believe me, when the right man comes, u know from the click in ur heart… il salfa mo le3eb

    o my dear, 5 years in a marriage with a man i was in love with for 3 years before, y3ni 8 years toghether, o i still discover new things about him!!! We are changing evolving creatures and people do change over the course of their lives 😀

    Reply

  8. eshda3wa
    May 18, 2009 @ 09:39:15

    ur post is a lot more sophisticated than mine..

    i have commitment issues

    ya3ni hasab b is bitter but hes already been through it

    ana madre laish!

    maybe i need therapy

    Reply

  9. eshda3wa
    May 18, 2009 @ 09:41:43

    i just read the article

    and i totally agree with it

    Reply

  10. Zainoba
    May 22, 2009 @ 14:03:44

    I totally agree with you! I want exactly what you want in a Man and a marriage. The thing is, i have found the man i want but i cant have him cause of certain circumstances bass Inshallah 5eir. Allah Kareem!

    The thing is our society take marriage as a casual activity that has to happen they dont think about the consequences that may happen tormorrow. People should get married to who they want to when they want to and babes your not old at all!

    The link is blocked by Etisalat…I wonder why arggggggghhh.

    Reply

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